These Past Few Days in September.

Ok, I'm just going to go free writing from now on. My brain just won't put up with articulate constructed sentences right now. So I apologize if it doesn't make any sense.
I hate the undeniable fact that we all have to grow up one day. And I die-hard trying to resist it. It's futile. I'm not Peter Pan. As much as I hope I was.
I'm losing it. I'm rapidly losing my identity. I ain't being myself anymore. The pressure is growing. And it's still growing and will keep growing and expanding and will always growing until it crushes me. I'm starting to feel that attraction again. I don't know what it is. Is it love? Is it just a crush? Gosh. I really hope that I could endure a few years without that nagging emotional feeling.
There's so many things I want to prove. Things I want to do. I want to help. I don't want to see injustices. I really want to change the world, if I can. To make it a better place.
I feel... useless. Gosh. I'm a freak. My hope is getting thinner every passing day. It wouldn't hold on for too much longer now.
I need a reason.
I've tried many, countless causes I made up to keep me on, and every single one of them fall off short.
I need someone, something, a belief; I could put reassurance in and that/who would push me to go on. The world is falling apart. It's almost a stranger to me now.
I will find it. I just don't know when. I hope I haven't crumbled till then.

I need a God. Not just any God. The God. The one God that I used to be totally in love with.
I hope I could reconcile and back to where I was. Maybe even more.

Then I'll find my other reasons.






Anyway!

I know that there are still few other things in my mind right now, but I feel from a little to quite much better now. Here's a few of what I've been doing on my tiny sketchbook lately!











I'm officially in love with Moleskine =D

And here's an unfinished photoshop doodle I did few months back. I was cleaning up my folders when I stumbled into this. Yeah... ;-)

Untitled. Haha, figures.